So I had the fantastic opportunity to depart from work sixty minutes early today. It twas around three oclock when the text arrived, Kelsey had the ticket...yes the tickets that would save me from an hour a torture. Row Seven tickets to the ever prevailing Utah Jazz game. We had jerseys, plastic noise makers and screaming voices. We were set. The thing was though, with row seven seats, we were bound to be sitting next to some "high and mighty" people. Well in fact we were...sort of.
The girl sitting infront of me had a beer in one hand and her phone in the other...she had a shrilly voice and by the end of the night was tipsy turvy. It was then I discoverd one of my new favorite hobbies is to watch people. They are so strange and dumb. I then briskly glanced around 180 degress for any other sapian that could catch my eye. There was a young couple a few rows in front of me. I don't think the girl ate...ever...There I was suffering through hunger pains, just about ready to drop dead right on the gum coated floor, and this girl was being bruised because her clothes were to heavy for her to handle.
Now comes the reason for my decadant title...the caucasion carrot. The owner of Morgan Jewlers was sitting just accross the way from me with his spouse accompaning him to his right. The rock on her fragile finger was about the size of those marbles you use to play...well marbles with...you know what I am talking about. The BIG one. Anyway, she was drenched in frosting...just in case you are lost, frosting is the term used in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days that describes beautiful diamonds and further more....jewlery. As a fifty five year old women, she should be aging accordingly with wrinkly skin, and a frost tinted skin tone...yet she was orange...yes orange. I am pretty sure that either she put WAY to much fake tan lotion on, or someone played a dirty trick on her and placed orange jello mix in her shower that morning....or is a cronic carrot eater. That along with her Botox injected face, she was....how should I phrase it...UGLY.
She needed to come to closure on the fact that just because she has money, she can't buy her youth. Happiness doesn't come with how young you attempt to appear, this often is paradoxial because she looked WAY to old to even be at a Jazz game. Anyway the point is, don't spend your money on age decreasing agents because it will only turn for the worst... I mean who wants the Umpa-Loompa appearance anyway???
--Sarah
